Occasionally I give talks where I often discuss my dad’s role in the Barry Prudom case. Dad was Press Officer for North Yorkshire Police when Prudom murdered Constable David Haigh near Harrogate in 1982. While on the run, he also killed Sergeant David Winter in Malton and pensioner George Luckett in Nottinghamshire. George’s wife Sylvia was also shot but miraculously survived.
After one such talk, I was approached by Carol Hepplestone who told me a very moving story and, with her permission, I am sharing it with you today.
On 3rd November 1981, Carol gave birth to her second baby, Leigh, at Carlton Lodge Maternity Home in Harrogate. Unfortunately, Leigh passed away very suddenly at six days old on 9th November 1981. What prompted Carol to approach me was the fact that Constable David Haigh played a significant role in her life around that time. “Your talk brought it all back to me,” she said.
Carol explained that after losing Leigh, not only did she have to go through the trauma of a postmortem to find out why he had died, but there was an agonisingly long wait for the results. When they finally did come, the doctor delivering them did a terrible job. “He said they couldn’t find a reason why he had haemorrhaged so they were just going to put it down to a cot death…He said I could go away and have more children. It was quite dismissive and there was no offer of any follow up care.”
The whole experience left Carol bereft and on one particular night she decided she needed some time to herself and headed out without telling anyone where she was going. Her panicked husband phoned the police fearing she was vulnerable and may be in danger. “David Haigh was with my husband when I rang home and the phone was passed to him. In a calm way he asked where I was and told me he would come and collect me, which he did and took me home. He then sat us down and acted as a mediator/councillor/listener between us.”
Afterwards, Constable Haigh visited regularly to see how they were. “He was a father of three small boys at the time and could empathise… He went above and beyond his duties as a police officer.”
It was only a week after his last visit that she learned that he had been killed. It hit her hard, and her heart broke for his wife and boys. Sadly, Carol’s marriage did not survive but as time went on, she grew stronger and reached a stage where she felt she could help other women going though what she had. She joined her local baby bereavement support group, Sands.
“It’s a place where we could talk, listen and support couples,” she says. “We liaised with hospital staff on how to treat bereaved parents. We introduced the idea of memory boxes. We raised funds for a dedicated room for these parents. We also raised funds for a Sands memorial statue which stands in Stonefall Cemetery, Harrogate. I recently visited the cemetery and was astounded to see the volume of graves, plaques and memorials dedicated to our lost babies.”
Carol has two other sons, Jonathan, born in 1979, and Ben, her ‘rainbow’ baby, born in 1983 (a rainbow baby is one who is born following miscarriage, stillbirth or after a sibling has died). On what would have been Leigh’s 40th birthday, Jonathan completed a challenge to raise funds for Sands, running four miles every four hours for 48 hours.
Carol was walking through Bedale last month and was pleasantly surprised to see the town was decorated by yarnbombers to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week (9th -15th October), something that would never have happened back in the 1980s: “How encouraging to see how things have come on over the years, instead of very little being spoken about it like in the past,” she says.
At 71, Carol has now found happiness with a new partner and remains eternally grateful for the kindness shown by David Haigh at a time she most needed it. She hopes that today, with more awareness and organisations offering support after the loss of a baby, no-one will feel let down in the way she was when Leigh died.
“No matter how many years go by, you never forget.”
Do you have opinions, memories or ideas to share with me? Get in touch with me via the ‘Contact’ tab at the top right of this page.
This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 29th Nov and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 27th Nov 2024
The Countryman's Daughter 