health – The Countryman's Daughter

Laughing into 2026

Happy New Year! I resolved to exercise more last year to prepare for my triathlon – have you made any resolutions this year?

It’s the time of year where I feel perfectly at ease forsaking my proper column-writing for something a bit daft. Hopefully you’ve eaten and drunk far more than you should over the festive period and like me are slobbing around on the sofa looking for entertainment that doesn’t cause you to have to concentrate too hard.

Because I was at a rather good party last night, I am grateful that I can resort to an end-of-year column that does not require a lot of thought, research or clever language. I am hoping I can get to the end without succumbing to the overwhelming desire to go and lie down again, even though I have not long been up. Thankfully I have my trusty companion to support me today – ‘The Funniest Thing You Never Said’ by Rosemarie Jarski, a book I like to dip into over the festive season. It is a collection of humorous quotations by famous people, all helpfully sorted into categories

As it is the new year, and many of us will have made resolutions to lose weight and get fitter, I thought I’d look into the ‘Exercise’ and ‘Diet’ sections to see if I could find some laughs. I certainly did, and wonder, do the following quotes make you giggle as much as they did me?

“I don’t work out. If God wanted us to bend over he’d have put diamonds on the floor.” Joan Rivers.

“Do I lift weights? Sure. Every time I stand up.” Dolly Parton.

“If God had wanted me to touch my toes he’d have put them on my knees.” Rosanne Barr.

“I exercise every morning without fail. Up, down! Up, down! Then the other eyelid.” Anthony Hopkins.

“ I often exercise. Why, only the other morning I had breakfast in bed.” Oscar Wilde.

“My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit down.” Phyllis Diller.

“Nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.” Nora Ephron.

“ I want to lose ten pounds. I just don’t know if I should start power-walking or smoking.” Lisa Goich.

“If you want to lose weight, all you’ve got to do is eat less and take a bit of exercise.”

“Sweetie, if it was that easy, everybody would be doing it.” Saffy and Edina Monsoon, Absolutely Fabulous.

“Perfectly healthy people are working themselves into a passion over their weight. Anyone would think Saint Peter stands at the Pearly Gates with a tape measure.” Ann Widdecombe.

“I’m a light eater. As soon as it’s light, I eat.” Henry Youngman.

“You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish.” Jerry Seinfeld.

“It’s a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.” Dave Barry.

“The lunches of 57 years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine level.” P.G. Wodehouse.

“I’m on two diets at the moment because you simply don’t get enough to eat on one.” Jo Brand.

“When purchasing exercise equipment, make sure it is of sturdy construction and that there is enough space to hang all of your wet washing on it.” Jeff Green.

“I’m on this amazing new diet. You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and as much as you want. You don’t lose any weight, but it’s very easy to stick to.” George Tricker.

“It takes six months to get in shape and two weeks to get out of shape. As soon as you know this, you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.” Rita Rudner.

“I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” Fred Allen.

“The doctor asked if I ever got breathless after exercise. I said no, never, because I never exercise.” John Mortimer.

“I take my only exercise acting as pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.” Mark Twain.

I hope these have made you smile, and I shall leave you with a more philosophical quote seen printed on a T-shirt:

“Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.”

I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 2nd Jan and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 31sr Dec 2025

All you have to do is tri

I hi-fived my loved ones who were waiting by the finish line. Their support got me to the end.

Seeing my loved ones with home-made signs cheering me from the sidelines kept me going

Do you remember that way back in January I announced that in a moment of madness, I had applied to take part in a triathlon? I wrote: “For those not familiar with this ridiculous athletic challenge, a triathlon is three sporting disciplines performed back-to-back in this order: Swim, cycle, run. There are various distances and mine is a 400-metre swim, followed by a 20-kilometre bike ride and a five-kilometre run.” I’d had this latent desire to do a triathlon for many years which I can’t really explain, and neither can I explain why I waited until I was old and creaky to actually get round to giving it a go.

I can now reveal that I have done it! It was held at York Sport Village with around 400 competitors from all over the country. I completed it in under two hours without sinking, falling off my bike or tripping over. My legs and knees are still reminding me of it every minute of every day but I have to admit, the sense of achievement feels pretty damn good. This was my first attempt at doing anything like this, so I took it nice and steady, my goal being to preserve energy for the final run to ensure I actually made it to the end without collapsing in exhaustion.

I was not tempted to chase other people who sailed by me in the pool, whizzed past on fancy racing bikes, or glided effortlessly by on the run. The competitor in me resisted the urge to try and go a bit faster or to push harder, because the fear of failing after I had told so many people I was going to do it was greater than the fear of being overtaken by speedier participants.

As for the training that I had pledged to do at the start of the year, well, it was patchy at best, and I would not recommend that anyone follow my example when preparing for an athletic endeavour. I bought my bike three weeks before the race from a second-hand shop for £85 and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have been in the pool since the start of the year. As for running, I did a few long walks and threw in a bit of running now and then. I’m not sure the Brownlee brothers would be impressed with my preparation.

That’s not to say I didn’t do any physical activity. I play racquet sports regularly, and relied on the fitness I gain from that to see me through. One thing that helped was the fact that I managed to shed a few pounds (to get into that bridesmaid’s dress for the July wedding that I mentioned in my January column). It meant there was a bit less of me to drag around the course.

I was very nervous before the event though, nervous of the unfamiliarity of it all, of being surrounded by people who had done proper training and preparation, people looking like they knew what they were in for, people who seemed ready and confident. But it was a lovely and supportive atmosphere, and as I trotted around the route, those who overtook me offered words of encouragement to keep going.

The best thing was having my friends and family on the sidelines. On every lap, I could see my little posse of loved ones holding huge signs with my name on that I could easily spot. Although they were all cheering, the voice I could hear most was my friend Hayley (the bride from said wedding) shouting words of encouragement. I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to seeing and hearing them on every lap, knowing that every time I spotted them I was another step closer to the finish.

What I didn’t expect was the surge of emotion on nearing the end. My friend Stefan (who has done six of these so far!) had completed the event earlier in the day and we were both taking part in memory of our mutual friend Andy Wilkinson who passed away from pancreatic cancer a few years ago. He had been a proper triathlete, and I hope he’d be proud that I kept going and made it over the finish line.

This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 5th Sept and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 3rd Sept 2025

Trusting your instinct

Joey, centre, with his girlfriend Tasha and good friend Harry Howells.

I’ve had some super feedback from readers following my column about the sepsis that affected my son Joey when he was a toddler. The memories of that traumatic event were sparked by a humorous line he had written to me in a birthday card: “From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me toilet paper when I come over.”

The sepsis was triggered by Meckel’s diverticulum, a pocket of excess tissue that in rare cases can become entangled with the bowel, cutting it off. This led to an infection which in turn led to Joey’s sepsis. Sepsis can turn fatal within hours, so we were extremely lucky to catch it in time, despite the doctors missing it initially. He was rushed to Leeds General Infirmary for emergency surgery which saved his life. Today Joey lives with an upset stomach every day, and hence the witty line he wrote in his card. Despite awareness campaigns, sepsis is still the UK’s second biggest killer disease and is still being missed by both medical professionals and the general public.

Retired nurse Janet Pearce said: “A parent instinctively knows when something is wrong…Even as a nurse I was in situations where I knew something was wrong, but not what, told the doctor and persisted, to find I was right. Nurses call it our sixth sense. More than one contact with services should be a red flag…. NICE (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) have guidelines for assessing children, but…there are no substitutes for parental and professional gut instincts and high standards of diagnostic ability…. At the heart of all medical situations is communication. That is the most important skill of all. I am so glad your lovely boy made it!”

We saw doctors twice before Joey was admitted, as well as calling the out of hours phone service. And Janet is right about parental instinct. Joey was my youngest of three and I hardly ever called the doctor but those I spoke to ignored my experienced maternal voice. I am now far more assertive where health is concerned. I’d rather harass a doctor and be proved wrong than stay at home and be proved right!

Janet adds: “You are absolutely correct about being proved wrong. Better to be safe than sorry. I used to send patients to A&E and tell them if the doctor had a go at them to get them to ring me…It really should not be a battle, but sadly it often is.”

It sounds like any patient would be very lucky having Janet fighting their corner! Liz Davidson, who has two boys herself, puts it rather well when she says: “What would sons do without Mam?”

Her sentiments are echoed by Neil McBride: “Proof that a mother’s instinct is not to be ignored.” And Joe Micheli adds: “Great story Sarah. You never stop being a parent.”

Jane Reed-Thomas is right too when she says: “What a story Sarah. Glad you trust your instincts now!”

Lynn Catena, who lives in Canada but is originally from Yorkshire, says: “So glad they finally recognised he needed help. I have nothing but praise for the NHS after my 2019 visit to the UK turned into a stay in intensive care (3 days), then a week of observation. I credit my sister (who passed away in February this year) with her determination at her doctor’s office to get me looked after. I am happy I always travel with medical insurance because you never know what can happen.”

I’m extremely glad Lynn got the service she needed, and in lots of instances the NHS works brilliantly and the staff are excellent. I simply want to highlight the lack of awareness about sepsis and its symptoms, despite it being such a huge killer in the UK.

One of Joey’s close friends Harry Howells saw my column online and got in touch to say: “This is a beautiful article, Sarah. And I’m sure I’m speaking on all of his friends’ behalf when I say we’re so happy he’s with us and healthy!”

Yes, Harry, it makes me very happy too!

Do you have opinions, memories or ideas to share with me? Get in touch with me using the ‘Contact’ button on the top right.

This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 25th and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 23rd July 2025

A close call for my son

Joey on his third birthday, just three weeks before he fell ill

Joey in Leeds General Hospital after an operation that saved his life after he contracted sepsis

Joey and I on a recent walk around York City Walls 20 years after he contracted sepsis. He lives with the after effects every day, but it’s a small price to pay compared to the alternative.

As I write this, I am basking in the glow of lovely bank holiday upon which it also happened to be my birthday. My boys came over with their girlfriends and yet again I was blessed to receive cards from each of them with words inside that touched my heart.

My older two would be embarrassed if I publicised what they had written, but my youngest, Joey, has given me his blessing to share his message, which had me crying from both laughter and emotion.

He wrote: “From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me toilet paper when I come over.

“Thank you for all your sacrifices over the years to make sure we boys were happy and healthy. We don’t forget what you do for us (car insurance, my new bed, pancakes on Sunday, cooking, washing, cleaning, new toothbrush heads, lifts, supporting our choices, and an infinite amount more).”

These are simple things that his words demonstrate he doesn’t take for granted. I need to explain the first line though, and why that hilarious sentence stems from something far less amusing.

When Joey was a toddler, he became ill on a visit to my mum’s. He could not stop vomiting and I assumed it was a stomach bug. I was not too worried at first, but by the evening was getting concerned and took him to the out-of-hours doctor. He advised me that it was likely a bug and to come back if it didn’t clear up.

By the following day, things had not improved. Joey was gulping down beakers full of water, yet did not pass any urine all day. My unease was mounting, and by the evening, I was really worried. Joey would lie down on the sofa, then stand up and run to another seat, as if he could not get comfortable. I called the out-of-hours doctor, and she asked me some questions:

Did Joey have a temperature? I felt his forehead and it wasn’t hot. “No,” I replied.

Was he alert? Yes, he was running from pillar to post.

Was he drinking? “Yes, loads,” I replied, but informed her that his nappy had been dry all day.

She suggested to give it another night and call back if he hadn’t improved by morning.

It was the worst advice she could have given me. What I had unknowingly described were classic signs of septic shock, but she didn’t pick up on them. I spent a sleepless night with a child who would not settle, who was vomiting a dark brown substance (I now know were dried specks of blood called ‘coffee grounds’), and I STILL did not call an ambulance because I trusted the doctor’s advice. I ignored all my instincts screaming at me to get help (I have never done it since).

I took him back to the doctors first thing and we were very soon in an ambulance speeding on blue lights to Leeds General Infirmary for emergency surgery to save Joey’s life.

He made it through the operation in which a large portion of his dead small intestine had to be removed. He’d had a Meckel’s diverticulum, which is a pouch-shaped piece of excess tissue many people have from birth. In rare cases like Joey’s, it can become entangled with the bowel, cutting it off. This led to an infection which in turn led to the sepsis, the UK’s second biggest killer after cardiovascular disease. Many kinds of infection can lead to sepsis, so knowing the signs is extremely important. Despite awareness campaigns, it is still being missed, 20 years after it happened to Joey.

Had the doctor worded her questions differently, I believe she would have realised he was in an urgent situation. Joey had low body temperature, which we rarely look for. I now have a thermometer to take accurate readings rather than relying on my hand. Agitation and lack of urination are also signs of the body entering septic shock, the advanced, life-threatening stage of sepsis where the vital organs start to shut down.

The long-term effect is that he lives with the discomfort and inconvenience of an upset stomach every single day. Hence, Mum supplements his higher-than-average loo roll costs.

But that is a very small price to pay to still have my beautiful son in my life.

Do you have opinions, memories or ideas to share with me? Get in touch with me using the ‘Contact’ button on the top right.

This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 13th and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 11th June 2025

Getting it in the neck

Dad wrote more than 2000 Countryman’s Diary columns over 41 years

Will either of these help my cough symptoms?

Would you believe this is my 400th column since I took over from my dad in 2017? I’m pleased that I have made it this far without missing one, despite deaths, illnesses and pandemics trying to throw me off my stride.

Dad was committed to his column-writing duties and made sure he submitted them well before the deadline. Of course, my seven and a bit years pale into insignificance compared to his 41 years of service, which means he compiled more than 2000 of them. If ever I achieve that milestone, I will be 91 years of age, which is quite a thought!

Even then though, I’ll be some way off the record of the man who started this column in the first place, Major Jack Fairfax-Blakeborough. His first ‘Countryman’s Diary’ appeared in the Darlington and Stockton Times in 1922, and his last one at the very end of 1975 when he was aged 93. He died on New Year’s Day 1976, and my dad’s first column (a tribute) appeared on 10th January. That means the Major contributed more than 2750 columns, quite a feat. I’d be interested to know if anyone in this country has (or had) written a weekly column for longer.

We columnists are so attached to our little corners of glory that we are loathe to let anyone else step in, even when we are sick. As I mentioned last week, I was rather below par, and am thankfully much better now, although the nagging cough is hanging on. Everyone I speak to seems to have had it and offer the cheery warning that it will ‘go on for weeks’. I really hope not, and if you’ve been afflicted, then I hope you are not suffering too badly.

The fact it is persisting, even though I can function normally, means that I have ditched the Lemsip. I do not like to take medication for too long if I can help it, but the rattly chest is rather annoying so I have investigated some traditional ‘at home’ remedies that are supposed to help.

I have found plenty, although I am not sure I am going to give all of them a go. I am most tempted to try the first one – drinking hot chocolate. Dark chocolate with a minimum 70% cocoa content contains a good dose of theobromine which is a stimulant similar to caffeine. Recent research suggests it is better at suppressing an annoying cough than codeine, and if you melt it and turn it into hot chocolate by pouring into hot milk, the milk will also help you sleep. But I am a little confused. Does the milk override the stimulating effect of the theobromine? Or is it the other way round? I have yet to find out!

Another tip for a persistent cough is to eat mashed turnip. Not only is the vegetable packed full of vitamins (C, A and B) but it acts as an expectorant, that is, it loosens the mucus that causes you to cough. Spicy foods and curries are also believed to do the same thing, so perhaps if I add chilli powder to my mashed turnip I’ll be on to a winner.

There are some remedies that are more suited to survival experts like Bear Grylls than soft old columnists like me. According to Lady Eveline Camilla Gurdon in a self-help manual published in 1893 by the Folk Lore Society, you must place a large, live, flat fish on your bare chest and keep it there until it dies. It is supposed to help with congestion in the chest and ease coughing. She also advises eating roasted mouse or drinking milk that has already been ‘lapped by a ferret’.

If you are suffering from a sore throat and fever, then you can try basting your throat with lard or chicken fat before wrapping your neck with dirty socks. This is similar to the wartime advice of wrapping your neck with a rope dipped in tar. The fumes from the stinky socks & the toxic tar are supposed to help clear the lungs and a blocked nose. I suppose if you die from inhaling poisonous fumes then you won’t be so bothered about your fever, will you.

I don’t know about you but I will stick to eucalyptus oil soaked into a tissue, thank you!

Do you have any interesting home remedies?

Do you have opinions, memories or ideas to share with me? Get in touch with me via the ‘Contact’ tab at the top right of this page.

This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 31st Jan and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 29th Jan 2025

What’s wrong with Priya the poorly Poodle?

Priya the poodle’s health was deteriorating but we didn’t know why. She wasn’t her normal bouncy self.

RenderedImage — Priya, seen here with Joey, was diagnosed with Addison’s Disease which can be fatal. Now she’s on medication and is full of beans once again

We’ve had another dog-related drama this week, and as it is something I’ve not personally had to deal with before, despite ten years of looking after other people’s pooches, I am assuming there are some of you who also may not know about it. Therefore it is an important story to share.

We were looking after a couple of poodles, Joey, a miniature and Priya, a standard, who are regular guests of ours. A week after they had returned home the owner contacted us to ask if anything had happened while the dogs were with us, as Priya was a bit below par. There was nothing we could put our fingers on. She had eaten well, played happily and was enthusiastic to go on dog walks.

Her owner explained that she had become a bit lethargic and had lost her appetite. He had been to the vet with her, but they just said to keep an eye on her. The dogs were due to come back to us because the family were going on a long-awaited holiday abroad. We agreed that they should still come, even though by the time they dropped the dogs off, Priya still wasn’t herself.

Over the weekend, my son Jasper and I became increasingly concerned. Priya refused all food despite tempting her with treats like cheese and roast chicken that dogs usually gobble up. She spent most of the time sleeping, and whenever she did get up, her normally waggy tail was limp and lifeless.

Thankfully, one of my other customers is a vet and is our go-to if we are worried about any of our charges (if you run a professional dog care business, it is a requirement of your license to be registered with a vet, even if you don’t own a dog yourself). When I messaged her with the symptoms, she quickly replied that we should take her to the emergency surgery right away.

The owner’s own vet was based a good hour away, so we needed his permission for them to share Priya’s health details with the practice we wanted to use which was much closer. It meant we had to interrupt his holiday to let him know what was happening and to ensure we got the necessary consent.

Permission gained, Jasper whisked Priya to our vet who took blood from her to conduct tests in the hope of getting to the root of the problem. She was also hooked up to a drip and had to spend the night in the animal hospital.

The vet who did the initial examination had a suspicion of what it might be. “Addison’s disease, or something like that,” Jasper explained to me when he got back. I thought he must have the name wrong, because that was a human disease, wasn’t it?

When I looked it up, it was indeed a rare autoimmune disease of the adrenal glands that afflicts around 9,000 people a year. However, it is also found in dogs, and when I read the symptoms, it was spot on – lethargy, lack of appetite, and ‘just not themselves’. Other symptoms include vomiting and diarrhoea, increased thirst and limb weakness. Symptoms can come and go, too, but they get progressively worse, so it is important to not delay in getting a dog checked out. Although pretty rare in humans Addison’s Disease is quite common in dogs.

The results of the blood tests came the next day and confirmed Priya had the disease. It is caused by the adrenal glands ceasing production of two essential steroid hormones, cortisol and aldosterone, both of which are essential for life. It can affect any dog but is most common in certain pedigree breeds between the ages of four and six, such as the Standard Poodle, West Highland White Terrier, Great Dane and St Bernard’s. Left untreated the condition is fatal.

From now on, Priya needs to take a steroid pill every day for the rest of her life to replace the cortisol and also needs an injection once a month to replace the aldosterone. She quickly recovered and is back to her old self.

If you have pet insurance that you started before any symptoms appear, then you should be covered. If not, then I’m afraid a diagnosis of Addison’s Disease will be a rather costly affair!

I’d love to hear from you about your opinions, memories and ideas for columns. Use the ‘Contact’ button on the top right of this page to get in touch. This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 12th and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 10th July 2024.

Nobody wants a hot dog

A couple of spiders had a stand-off on my decking during a recent warm spell

I write this column some time before it is published, and today as I put finger to keyboard, it is gloriously sunny. I am outside basking in the rare heat, determined to make the most of it while I can, even if I can barely see what I am writing on my screen. As we Brits know only too well, this beautiful weather is likely to be short lived so I’m happy to squint as I work.

It is blissful and I think the wildlife in my garden are celebrating too. The birds seem extra chirpy and excitable, the bees and flies extra busy and buzzy, and the ants and beetles extra industrious as they hurry about their daily business.

My attention is caught by a couple of spiders on the decking having a standoff. They look to be eyeing each other up, keeping very very still, until one moves a bit, then so does the other, without getting too close. It is quite a captivating little dance and I wonder if it is some kind of mating ritual, or whether one is preparing to attack the other. Unfortunately, I don’t get the chance to find out, as something startles them, and they scuttle off to safety below the decking.

The swift change in temperature over the past couple of days has come as a shock to the system. It seemed to increase almost overnight by a whopping 15 degrees and took many of us by surprise when it comes to knowing what to wear. Moseying about town, some people were in coats and sweaters, while others wore shorts and flip flops.

It has also affected our four-legged friends, who are certainly unprepared. I have noticed them panting more and drinking far more water and we have cut short our dog walks, using routes that offer plenty of shade. It takes dogs a lot longer than us to adjust to changing weather conditions, and even when it seems pretty cool, they can still overheat.

My son Jasper was walking along a local shaded path when he came across a distressed woman with a large Dalmatian. Although she didn’t know Jasper, they had crossed paths regularly on their walks and so she asked him for help. The dog was panting very heavily and kept lying down and refusing to move. Thankfully, they were not far from our house and they managed to coax the dog into walking and once it got here, it promptly flopped down on the lawn while Jasper dashed in for a bowl of water. The owner was clearly upset, and said she only lived 15 minutes away, but was fearful that her dog would not survive that short distance without a drink.

She was right to be concerned, because heat exhaustion can affect a dog very quickly, and can be fatal. A dog pants to cool itself down but finds it hard to regulate its body temperature in warm conditions. If you notice excessive panting, then it’s best to take it into the shade and give it some water as soon as possible. Other signs of heat exhaustion include difficulty breathing, excessive drooling, lethargy and lack of coordination.

If you think your dog has been affected, the immediate priority is to bring its temperature down. Cool tap water sprinkled across its body is best, making sure to avoid the head (a gasping dog can inhale water into its lungs). Avoid excessively cold water though, as this can cause the animal to go into shock. Don’t be tempted to cover it with wet towels either as this can trap heat in and make the situation worse. Keep sprinkling the water over the dog until the panting eases. Try offering it small drinks of water too. If you are at all concerned, take it straight to the vet.

What I didn’t know was that, according to the RSPCA, heat-related illnesses affect 10 times more dogs than leaving them in hot cars, and the charity is running a campaign to raise awareness of the issue.

I’m delighted to report that the Dalmatian made a full recovery and the grateful owner, who happened to own a café, has offered myself and Jasper a free meal to say thank you.

Now that’s what I call a happy ending.

I’d love to hear from you about your opinions, memories and ideas for columns. Use the ‘Contact’ button on the top right of this page to get in touch. This column appeared in the Darlington & Stockton Times on Friday 31st and the Ryedale Gazette and Herald on Wednesday 29th May 2024.